Deviate. Defy. Devastate.

The Art of Trying

2011-05-18T19:46:00.001+08:00

Pablo Picasso said: ‘God is, above all, an artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant, and the ant. He never tried to follow one particular style. He simply kept on doing whatever he felt like doing.’

It is the desire to walk that creates the path ahead; however, when we set off on the journey towards our dream, we feel very afraid, as if we had to get everything right first time. But, given that we all live different lives, who decided what ‘getting everything right’ means? If God made the giraffe, the elephant, and the ant, and we are trying to live in His image, why do we have to follow any other model? A model might sometimes help us to avoid repeating the stupid mistakes that others have made, but, more often than not, it becomes a prison that makes us repeat what everyone else has always done.

It means making sure your tie always matches your socks. It means being forced to have the same opinions tomorrow as you had today. Where does that leave the constantly shifting world?

As long as it doesn’t harm anyone, change your opinions now and then and be unashamedly contradictory. You have that right; it doesn’t matter what other people think because they’re going to think something anyway.

When we decide to act, some excesses may occur. An old culinary adage says: ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.’ It’s also natural that unexpected conflicts should arise, and it’s natural that wounds may be inflicted during those conflicts. The wounds pass, and only the scars remain.

This is a blessing. These scars stay with us throughout our life and are very helpful. If, at some point – simply because it would make life easier, or for whatever other reason – the desire to return to the past becomes very great, we need only look at those scars. They are the marks left by the handcuffs, and will remind us of the horrors of prison, and we will keep walking straight ahead.

So, relax. Let the universe move around you and discover the joy of surprising yourself. ‘God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise,’ says St Paul.

A warrior of light often finds that certain moments repeat themselves. He is often faced by the same problems and situations and, seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.

‘I’ve been through all this before,’ he says to his heart.

‘Yes, you have been through all this before,’ replies his heart. ‘But you have never been beyond it.’

Then the warrior realises that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he has not yet learned. He always finds a different solution for each repeated battle, and he does not consider his failures to be mistakes but, rather, as he steps along the path to a meeting with himself.

- By Paulo Coelho in his book Like the Flowing River

Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes

2011-03-07T22:41:00.001+08:00

CHAPTER XIII
OF THE NATURAL CONDITION OF MANKIND AS CONCERNING THEIR FELICITY AND MISERY

NATURE hath made men so equal in the faculties of body and mind as that, though there be found one man sometimes manifestly stronger in body or of quicker mind than another, yet when all is reckoned together the difference between man and man is not so considerable as that one man can thereupon claim to himself any benefit to which another may not pretend as well as he. For as to the strength of body, the weakest has strength enough to kill the strongest, either by secret machination or by confederacy with others that are in the same danger with himself.

And as to the faculties of the mind, setting aside the arts grounded upon words, and especially that skill of proceeding upon general and infallible rules, called science, which very few have and but in few things, as being not a native faculty born with us, nor attained, as prudence, while we look after somewhat else, I find yet a greater equality amongst men than that of strength. For prudence is but experience, which equal time equally bestows on all men in those things they equally apply themselves unto. That which may perhaps make such equality incredible is but a vain conceit of one's own wisdom, which almost all men think they have in a greater degree than the vulgar; that is, than all men but themselves, and a few others, whom by fame, or for concurring with themselves, they approve. For such is the nature of men that howsoever they may acknowledge many others to be more witty, or more eloquent or more learned, yet they will hardly believe there be many so wise as themselves; for they see their own wit at hand, and other men's at a distance. But this proveth rather that men are in that point equal, than unequal. For there is not ordinarily a greater sign of the equal distribution of anything than that every man is contented with his share.

From this equality of ability ariseth equality of hope in the attaining of our ends. And therefore if any two men desire the same thing, which nevertheless they cannot both enjoy, they become enemies; and in the way to their end (which is principally their own conservation, and sometimes their delectation only) endeavour to destroy or subdue one another. And from hence it comes to pass that where an invader hath no more to fear than another man's single power, if one plant, sow, build, or possess a convenient seat, others may probably be expected to come prepared with forces united to dispossess and deprive him, not only of the fruit of his labour, but also of his life or liberty. And the invader again is in the like danger of another.

And from this diffidence of one another, there is no way for any man to secure himself so reasonable as anticipation; that is, by force, or wiles, to master the persons of all men he can so long till he see no other power great enough to endanger him: and this is no more than his own conservation requireth, and is generally allowed. Also, because there be some that, taking pleasure in contemplating their own power in the acts of conquest, which they pursue farther than their security requires, if others, that otherwise would be glad to be at ease within modest bounds, should not by invasion increase their power, they would not be able, long time, by standing only on their defence, to subsist. And by consequence, such augmentation of dominion over men being necessary to a man's conservation, it ought to be allowed him.

Again, men have no pleasure (but on the contrary a great deal of grief) in keeping company where there is no power able to overawe them all. For every man looketh that his companion should value him at the same rate he sets upon himself, and upon all signs of contempt or undervaluing naturally endeavours, as far as he dares (which amongst them that have no common power to keep them in quiet is far enough to make them destroy each other), to extort a greater value from his contemners, by damage; and from others, by the example.

So that in the nature of man, we find three principal causes of quarrel. First, competition; secondly, diffidence; thirdly, glory.

The first maketh men invade for gain; the second, for safety; and the third, for reputation. The first use violence, to make themselves masters of other men's persons, wives, children, and cattle; the second, to defend them; the third, for trifles, as a word, a smile, a different opinion, and any other sign of undervalue, either direct in their persons or by reflection in their kindred, their friends, their nation, their profession, or their name.

Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man. For war consisteth not in battle only, or the act of fighting, but in a tract of time, wherein the will to contend by battle is sufficiently known: and therefore the notion of time is to be considered in the nature of war, as it is in the nature of weather. For as the nature of foul weather lieth not in a shower or two of rain, but in an inclination thereto of many days together: so the nature of war consisteth not in actual fighting, but in the known disposition thereto during all the time there is no assurance to the contrary. All other time is peace.

Whatsoever therefore is consequent to a time of war, where every man is enemy to every man, the same consequent to the time wherein men live without other security than what their own strength and their own invention shall furnish them withal. In such condition there is no place for industry, because the fruit thereof is uncertain: and consequently no culture of the earth; no navigation, nor use of the commodities that may be imported by sea; no commodious building; no instruments of moving and removing such things as require much force; no knowledge of the face of the earth; no account of time; no arts; no letters; no society; and which is worst of all, continual fear, and danger of violent death; and the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.

It may seem strange to some man that has not well weighed these things that Nature should thus dissociate and render men apt to invade and destroy one another: and he may therefore, not trusting to this inference, made from the passions, desire perhaps to have the same confirmed by experience. Let him therefore consider with himself: when taking a journey, he arms himself and seeks to go well accompanied; when going to sleep, he locks his doors; when even in his house he locks his chests; and this when he knows there be laws and public officers, armed, to revenge all injuries shall be done him; what opinion he has of his fellow subjects, when he rides armed; of his fellow citizens, when he locks his doors; and of his children, and servants, when he locks his chests. Does he not there as much accuse mankind by his actions as I do by my words? But neither of us accuse man's nature in it. The desires, and other passions of man, are in themselves no sin. No more are the actions that proceed from those passions till they know a law that forbids them; which till laws be made they cannot know, nor can any law be made till they have agreed upon the person that shall make it.

It may per adventure be thought there was never such a time nor condition of war as this; and I believe it was never generally so, over all the world: but there are many places where they live so now. For the savage people in many places of America, except the government of small families, the concord whereof dependeth on natural lust, have no government at all, and live at this day in that brutish manner, as I said before. Howsoever, it may be perceived what manner of life there would be, where there were no common power to fear, by the manner of life which men that have formerly lived under a peaceful government use to degenerate into a civil war.

But though there had never been any time wherein particular men were in a condition of war one against another, yet in all times kings and persons of sovereign authority, because of their independency, are in continual jealousies, and in the state and posture of gladiators, having their weapons pointing, and their eyes fixed on one another; that is, their forts, garrisons, and guns upon the frontiers of their kingdoms, and continual spies upon their neighbours, which is a posture of war. But because they uphold thereby the industry of their subjects, there does not follow from it that misery which accompanies the liberty of particular men.

To this war of every man against every man, this also is consequent; that nothing can be unjust. The notions of right and wrong, justice and injustice, have there no place. Where there is no common power, there is no law; where no law, no injustice. Force and fraud are in war the two cardinal virtues. Justice and injustice are none of the faculties neither of the body nor mind. If they were, they might be in a man that were alone in the world, as well as his senses and passions. They are qualities that relate to men in society, not in solitude. It is consequent also to the same condition that there be no propriety, no dominion, no mine and thine distinct; but only that to be every man's that he can get, and for so long as he can keep it. And thus much for the ill condition which man by mere nature is actually placed in; though with a possibility to come out of it, consisting partly in the passions, partly in his reason.

The passions that incline men to peace are: fear of death; desire of such things as are necessary to commodious living; and a hope by their industry to obtain them. And reason suggests convenient articles of peace upon which men may be drawn to agreement. These articles are they which otherwise are called the laws of nature, whereof I shall speak more particularly in the two following chapters.

(One of the best pieces of work that I have ever had the pleasure of reading – God bless your genius soul, Thomas Hobbes.)

Liberation

2010-11-08T14:52:00.002+08:00

Liberation is the realisation of awareness, achievement of oneness with the Divine. Each and every living being has to attain this consummation, this goal, the Brahman. That is its true destination. Some day or the other, the urge to win release from the shackles of grief and joy, and the bonds of "I" and "mine" will awaken and emerge. The path that is taken then inevitably leads to freedom (Moksha). Seeking that path is the sign of the intelligent person. Instead of this search, when one considers the objective world as all-important and feels drawn toward its charm, life is barren and is of no consequence.

- Sai Baba

The Greatest Hazard

2010-08-01T00:43:00.005+08:00

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To try is to risk failure.
To dream is to risk disappointment.

To expose feeling is to risk rejection.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

But risks must be taken, because the person who

risks nothing, does nothing, will gain nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he will

not learn, feel, change, grow, or love.

The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

For No One, But You

2010-05-08T03:51:00.001+08:00

The night steals past stealthily.
The clock moves its hands furtively around,
chancing glances at me with every second.
It knows that to me, the night is day. The hours,
accounted for in my head.

She’s on my mind.
All those miles away. And she knows it.
When I will see her, I do not know.
All that matters for now, is this very moment.
She is right here.
A part of my night, a part of her day.
A part of my imagination and a part of her play.

Till the dawn, I will wake,
fixated on you.
Not much else on this mind,
that shares a prayer for you.

One day it will make sense,
these moments we yearn.
For something, or someone,
over distance and churn.
Deep down, my sweets,
you know this is true.
Your laughter is all that I care to hold true.

A thought

2010-05-07T03:48:00.001+08:00

The rhythm of the city, an emotionless machine, manufacturing reality, shiny but unclean. built on sand and fantasy, mirror of mirage, reflected on the silver screen and the chrome in the garage. Vision blinded by concrete, callused hearts enclosed, deafened by the drum beat, tongues too seared to taste. Masked by the drone of engines and chatter of the street, the still small voice is buried and the footpath isn’t seen.

Images and idols technologically devised, words of cotton candy dissolve before your eyes, intellect and science worshipped by decree, giving credit to illusion so the chained believe they are free. Fundamental skeletons in self appointed roles, clothed in robes of office but carnivorous of souls, speaking words that come from knowledge but do not come from light, letters leading spirit, adding darkness to the night.

Go Not To The Temple

2009-12-17T21:35:00.001+08:00

Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God,
First fill your own house with the fragrance of love.

Go not to the temple to light candles before the altar of God,
First remove the darkness of sin from your heart.

Go not to the temple to bow down your head in prayer,
First learn to bow in humility before your fellowmen.

Go not to the temple to pray on bended knees,
First bend down to lift someone who is down-trodden.

Go not to the temple to seek forgiveness for your sins,
First forgive from your heart those who have sinned against you.

Prayers for Fear

2009-05-18T03:15:00.001+08:00

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. (Psalm 23:4,5)

Father, fear is so far from me when I am aware of walking close to You that even the valley of death does not scare me. It is one in which there are dark shadows. When I am walking toward You, Father, I don't see those shadows. I needn't fear them. There can be no real evil befall me. You are with me and there is no one or anything that I need other than You. Your correcting rod and comforting staff bring a feeling of security which sustains me. I know the table You have spread for me is overflowing with an abundance of blessings. In the presence of my enemy, disease, I can feast at Your table of wholeness. My enemy, death, cannot starve me because I feast at Your table of everlasting life. Thank You, Father, for the anointing of Your presence which flows upon my head and into my heart. Thank You that my cup of joy is filled to overflowing. My cup is so full with Your presence and peace there is no room for fear. It is gone. It cannot remain and by Your grace I will not let it return. Your Word has helped me to conquer fear. Praise Your Holy Name, Father. Free of fear, I come to You in the Name of Jesus Christ and through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. (Isaiah 43:2)

Father, Your Word lets me know there are many waters through which I must pass. The rivers of life often overflow me and I am flooded with situations beyond my own capabilities or endurance. The problems of this world, the diseases on every hand, the distresses of disappointments, and the frustrations of failures are all part of the fire through which I must walk. All of these things leave me fearful, Father. They challenge my faith, confuse my mind, and disturb my spirit. But in the midst of my fears I thank You, Father, that You are with me. I am not alone as I tread the dread waters of life. I thank You that I never have to cross a river by myself, for You are always with me. The flames from the ferocious battles of life do not consume me, Father, because of Your Presence. Like the three Hebrew children in the fiery furnace I am preserved. Even the odor of the smoke rising from the ashes of shattered dreams and crushed plans does not cling to my life. The world cannot understand what I have experienced as Your child, because it does not understand You.

King of The Underworld

2009-05-09T18:15:00.001+08:00

According to Irish mythology, Donn, or the Dark One, is the Lord of the Dead and father of Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, whom he gave to Aengus Óg to be nurtured. Donn is regarded as the father of the Irish race; a position similar to that of Dis Pater and the Gauls, as noted by Julius Caesar (the Roman emperor).

Originally, Donn was the chief of the Sons of Mil, a mythological race who invaded Ireland, ousting the Tuatha Dé Danann. Donn slighted Ériu, one of the eponymous goddesses of Ireland, and he was drowned off the south-west coast of the island. A place near this spot, on a small rocky island named 'Tech nDuinn'. ('the House of Donn'), became Donn's dwelling place as god of the dead. This house was the assembly place for the dead before they began the journey to the otherworld.

Cnoc Fírinne, County Limerick was Donn Fírinne's residence. Cnoc Fírinne (meaning 'Hill of Truth') takes its name from Donn, who is said to forewarn the local people of bad weather by gathering up rain clouds around him on the hill.

In modern Irish, the word for the colour brown is "donn".

References

Dictionary of Celtic Myth and Legend. Miranda Green. Thames and Hudson Ltd. London. 1997

Something, somewhere told me my gifts are meant to be. Now, I have understood.

The Ten 'Mafiosi' Commandments

2009-05-09T01:37:00.001+08:00

1. No one can present himself directly to another of our friends. There must be a third person to do it.

2. Never look at the wives of friends.

3. Never be seen with cops.

4. Don't go to pubs and clubs.

5. Always being available for Cosa Nostra is a duty - even if your wife's about to give birth.

6. Appointments must absolutely be respected.

7. Wives must be treated with respect.

8. When asked for any information, the answer must be the truth.

9. Money cannot be appropriated if it belongs to others or to other families.

10. People who can't be part of Cosa Nostra: anyone who has a close relative in the police, anyone with a two-timing relative in the family, anyone who behaves badly and doesn't hold to moral values.

(Something tells me, I belong elsewhere.)

Memories

2009-05-03T22:58:00.001+08:00

Memories of my times with her,
Linger in my head.
Those times I never felt any pain,
Unlike the way I do today.

Her smiles, her glances,
Her stares, her laughs,
Oh, how I wish I could relive
those memories once again.

She’s no longer mine, oh hell,
she never was to begin with.
What in the world was I thinking,
when I loved her the way I did?

These memories in my head,
just don’t seem to want to leave.
Just like how this heart of mine,
doesn’t want to feel the deal.

I just can’t accept the fact that,
she says I’m too good for her,
and she chooses instead a guy,
who is way too young for her.

As I lie here thinking,
I feel like I’m gonna blow.
But man, oh man,
I just can’t seem to let her go.

The way she said those words to me,
I never will forget.
But since I’m the better of the two,
Shouldn’t I be the best bet?

I hid my tears and I hid my pain,
there’s nothing more to do.
When you realise that all you did,
was in fact just doing you.

I told her that I understood,
I wished her all the best,
and I wonder why I’m being put through,
this very terrible test.

She’s the only one I’ve ever loved,
and maybe ever will,
Now I pray that she returns,
Coz I’ll be loving her still.

These memories, they’ll never fade.
They’ll haunt me even as I sleep.
As I toss & turn I realise that,
everything runs too deep.

My friend’s out there, listen up.
I’ve got to save you before you fall.
Keep your hearts under lock & key,
Coz the writing’s on the wall.

-Donn (September 4th 2004)

Fire and Ice

2009-04-22T16:24:00.001+08:00

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

-Robert Frost

The Poem – Seize The Day

2009-04-08T23:00:00.001+08:00

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,

As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim

Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,

'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'

And that's what we get and deserve in the end.

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Are you the new person drawn toward me?

2008-11-28T13:22:00.001+08:00

Are you the new person drawn toward me?
To begin with, take warning, I am surely far different from what you suppose;
Do you suppose you will find in me your ideal?
Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover?
Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy’d satisfaction?
Do you think I am trusty and faithful?
Do you see no further than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner of me?
Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground toward a real heroic man?
Have you no thought, O dreamer, that it may be all maya, illusion?

- Walt Whitman

Love, defined.

2008-11-27T23:12:00.007+08:00

DEFINITIONS

The English word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.[4]

Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.

When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism).

In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[5]

Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to The Beatles' "All you need is love." Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Theologian Thomas Jay Oord said that to love is to "act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others, to promote overall well-being."

Impersonal love

A person can be said to love a country, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' "love" of their cause may sometimes be borne not of interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political convictions. People can also "love" material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, this condition is called paraphilia.[6]

Interpersonal love

Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.

Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.

Chemical basis

Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[7] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others; romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating; and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[8]

Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.[8] In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels (NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4) of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in a control group who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[9]

Psychological basis

Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components. American psychologist Zick Rubin seeks to define love by psychometrics. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy.[10][11]

Following developments in electrical theories such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract." Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality—people tend to like people similar to themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g., with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby that has the best of both worlds.[12] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.

Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose work in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another," and simple narcissism.[13] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.

Comparison of scientific models

Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst;[citation needed] psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views. Certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.

Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.

its up to me

2008-10-06T13:08:00.002+08:00

I get discouraged now and then
when there are clouds of gray,
Until I think about the things
that happened yesterday.

I do not mean the day before,
or those months ago.

But all the yesterdays in which
I had a chance to grow.

I think of opportunities that
I allowed to foall aside.

And those I took advantage of
before they passed me by.

And I remember that the past
presented quite a plight.

But somehow I endured it and
the future seemed all right.

And I remind myself that
I am capable and free,
And my success and happiness
is really up to me.

ORD – Operationally Ready Date

2008-04-17T00:28:00.004+08:00

The time has finally come, and yes, I am approximately a month late in getting this published. As always, the term here is busy. Hate the fact that the exams are 6 weeks away and frantically trying to get some revision done in the midst of housework and other stuff.

On March 12th, which was hmmm, LAST MONTH, I finally and joyfully collected my PINK IC after completing my good 2 years of service to the nation. And what a fantastic 2 years it has been. I hardly even felt the time go by. In short, I frankly think that NS has been the best 2 years of my life thus far.

Enlistment, which of course includes THEM cutting off all your hair and leaving a strip which they proudly refer to as No.1, took place on March 14th 2006. Following that, one month of Basic Rescue Training took place. Honestly, I can’t recall doing any rescue work then. All we had was what is known far and wide as ‘tekkan sessions’. It didn’t matter when or where. Parade square, dormitory, corridors, well even in the bathrooms, the Instructors would suddenly appear out of no where to make your life miserable. Everything that you experience in there though teaches you something new. Smoking for one, is a no go while you’re in camp. The guys who managed to sneak in those cigarettes and smoke them, had to feel satisfied, because what they got when they got caught was never one bit worth the pain in my view. A solitary cell in the Detention Barracks. Even if it was just 3 days, made them swear never to go in there ever again. Those who went in for whatever rebellious behavior, failing to comply with orders etc, all came out of there changed men. Surprisingly, not one of them ever spoke about what happened inside. Makes me wonder till this very day.

Well, that being that brings me to the 2nd part, an interview. Conducted by senior officers on a select few, they chose potential candidates for the elite, Emergency Response Specialist Course (ERS). Now, this is the pride and joy for NSF in Civil Defence. If you got selected for this and made it through the 6 months of training that came after that, every bit of the suffering you went through would suddenly be worth it when you saw your first pay slip after graduation. =) Yes, I’m getting there. I got selected for it, but wait, let me tell you, when I was asked what vocation I wanted, I asked to be a Dog Handler with the Disaster Assistance Rescue Team (DART). Those of you who know me well enough would know my love for dogs aye. Personally, I have 3 of my own. =D

As always, most times you never get what your heart wishes for. This was one of those times. I was posted into the ERS course and boy, was it what ever I had imagined it not to be. True, we had privileges since we were specialist trainees, but trainees we still were and the training was an immense load. 24 weeks, is a long time. Looking back though, I’d be happy to be back there again with the same batch of guys. Don’t think there’s been a bunch of guys who did all the nonsense we did ever in Civil Defence Academy. Memories, they shall live on. Weeks into the course, we had the opportunity to head off to the Home Team Academy (HTA) for a 2 week course. Ah, well, experience after experience. Indeed, a good break. A great opportunity to meet other people. To most of the guys, it only meant GIRLS!!! Police, Immigration, Prisons etc. The only thing that had me really happy there though was the food. If anyone reading this wants to join a uniformed service as a career, please choose one that trains in HTA, because the food there is so good, you would never ever want to leave camp. We all had our moments there. And those memories will stay for alive forever. What do we leave behind in life besides our memories, and even those aren’t always accurate! There are some secrets that die with each and every one of us.

Yes, here I go deviating again. My apologies. After that wonderful time at HTA, the next thing on the blocks for us trainees was a trip to the jungles of Brunei. From the 6th to the 13th of August, we crept around a really beautiful jungle, with such a blessedly beautiful river, eating canned food, biscuits & chocolate bars, getting into tents infested with army ants, running out screaming, drinking river water with disinfecting pills dropped in, scaling Bukit Lutut, a stupendous mountain and finally culminating in a solitary night in the jungle, with just 5 liters of water, a canvas sheet cover, a ground sheet, a can of insecticide, an air-horn to sound in case of emergency, a light stick which was not to be broken lest you sounded the air-horn, and the life-jacket, which we had to use to cross that beautiful river each time.

Once again, wondrous memories they were. The thing about the entire Brunei trip which was in fact, led by Outward Bound Brunei, was that it focused on team and leadership building. Some were exemplary leaders, in the face of the difficulties we faced in the jungle. Others, were superb morale boosters. I will never forget Mr Mas Nasruddin for his wonderfully clear voice and renditions of age old malay songs inside the jungle. Just when the mood of the group was deteriorating during a particularly long and dreary track, he would start to sing without fail. That moved us, and kept us strong as a group till the very last day of the trip. We returned to Singapore that weekend, very different from the way we left. We realized now for instance, that no man can be an island and survive. And in the job that awaited us upon passing out, that was something each of us had to comprehend and appreciate.

The last 4 weeks of training loomed up ahead of us as we returned to camp. The vacation was over. Every little bit that we’d learnt about fire, rescue, chemical agents etc was going to be put to the test. Mind you, these tests are not simple. If you ever have the chance of meeting a fireman, ask him how his heat and humidity endurance exercise was back in CDA and judge his facial reaction. After which, ask him about the tear gas chamber. Ask him what its like to climb 8 flights of steps in full gear, carrying equipment on his back and having to break a door and pull out a casualty weighing above 90kg, and set up hoses. It is not an easy job. What awaited us were field exercises of what was to come before the final exercises. Basically, they hit you so hard during the field exercises, that during the final exercises, you would not be able to feel a thing no matter what they throw at you. The mental pressure you face is much greater than the physical pressure. Your body has a way of pushing on no matter what it faces; your mind though, is another matter. If that gives up on you, it doesn’t matter how strong you are physically.

We were assigned our final exercises so that we could prepare in time for the field exercises where we would get a feel of things. I got the only underground rescue operation there was. Exercise Bad Breath. Now, there’s 2 ways of looking at this. First, with a big smile, NO FIRE. Now the bad part, confined space and I am not exactly your every day little guy. That too I was to lead the part of Section Commander 1, which basically meant leading the team down the man-hole and guiding the operation from down under. Yours truly, does not like small spaces. He likes his space. And surprisingly, when we went down that man-hole, we had a world of space available to us. It was a huge monsoon drain and we could walk, stoop a little at several areas but we had space. Honestly though, the entire operation was a disaster. They pumped in smoke; made sure we couldn’t see a thing and downed us one by one till there was no one left ‘ALIVE’. A debrief and a lecture on our mistakes ensued. Do not think that it was something like an exercise a day, no. Sometimes 2, sometimes 3 exercises a day. Inclusive of night exercises. =) The body is an amazing thing. Take good care of it.

Well we trained. We bled sweat. We ran laps at nights. We ran through graveyards at 5am in the morning. We ran with full gear in the evenings after the exercises. We drank bucket loads of water & syrup. We trained. And then, the final exercises were upon us. And believe it or not, every one of us, breezed through the exercises. A week & a graduation ceremony later, we were what we had trained to be. Section Commanders. Emergency Response Specialists. Men. Sergeants

To Akrab, Dhinesh, Azrul, Nadiah, Hafiz, Akram, Adam, Dzulfadhly, Juzaimi & Musa. Thank you. Without you guys, I cannot imagine what training in CDA would have been like. The nights we spent in ‘Ah Tuk’s Corner’, ‘Drinks Parties’, pull-up training are all filed away in a special corner of my heart. Of course, Dorm 3A would never have been the same without a few special mentions. Andi Mirza, the irritant. Irwan, the silent play my guitar in the corner guy. Bao Sheng, Mr Shine my boots. Azri, the man who supported me from e bottom bed. Yang Kai, fondly referred to as Apple Wong. Adzfar Alami, Mr Devout Fitness Fanatic. Akram, drinks party organizer for every night which was not a night off. Adam Wong, the man who diligently cleaned the toilet every Friday before book-out and my morale booster. Imran Bustamam, the cute lil penguin who just never failed to have a crazy one liner on the tip of his tongue. You live on. If you’re reading this, just remember you’re special.

Moving on, posting came around. And yes, I got posted to Yishun Fire Station. The Best Fire Station in Singapore for 2 years running. You can imagine the pressure and expectations I was facing. The real training was about to begin. And it was more like an extension of training from CDA upon arrival. Thankfully, I soon proved my worth in a series of calls that we attended and in training, and life settled in. Rota 3, Yishun Fire Station. The best and I’d proclaim it even today if called upon to.

And once, that was settled, life started to fly by. We had our fair share of high profile calls; suicides, unit-fires, Senoko Power Station Fire, 2 ship fires, RTA’s, DOA’s. And time flew. Before I realized, it was time to go and goodbyes were in order. And yes, my love to all in Rota 3, Yishun. You are all held dear and near to my heart. A little emo I know, for a fireman and all, and yet I know how mushy all of you can get. You will be forever remembered. Affan, Aizal, Siti, Ang, Encik Dzul, Encik Sufyan, Encik zaini, Yadi, Dol + Sharikin + Aliff my brothers, Oh Yeow Kiat my china black brother, Pereira & Khalil the beloved watch room boys, bogeh, Ramadan and sufyan, you will live on. To LTA Ling M H, my friend, my guide, my teacher, my mentor, I thank you for everything that you did for me and all the help and support you rendered me in my times of need. You shall be blessed. =) p.s You don’t belong in the force. Move on, man!!

It has been a wonderful journey and though I’m due for reservist sometime, I doubt it will ever be as fun as this has been. A journey which I undertook thinking a waste of time, changed my entire opinion about it and gave me what has been to date, the best times of my life.

To those of you, who are yet to enlist, go in with a positive attitude to your work, train with all your heart, and trust me, National Service, that 2 years, will be the time of your life. Cheers to one and all!

The Elusive One

2008-01-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

Once again, my head is bowed. All i can do is admit, yes, it has been long since the last update. What do I say besides the fact that I am once again awfully busy. Christmas & New Year have both come and gone. The holiday season is over and once again the clock starts to move and we feel the rush of time against our own will. Its wondrous isn't it? The year seems to just have started and yet, half a month has already gone by.

The year has been good to me so far. My ORD date is just around the corner. March 14th. Such a beautiful day. Finally out of the force. Or so I thought till i decided to sign on. Perhaps I will be brutally rejected. Perhaps not. Perhaps I will enjoy my two year bond there and learn even more than I already have so far with my stint as an Emergency Response Specialist with SCDF. Then again, perhaps not. What am I trying to prove here? That you never know what life is going to hand out to you. Forrest Gump once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." How true. =P

Many of my friends have been asking me a really strange question. It mostly sounds like a particular consonant. And it goes something like, "Why?" Honestly, I don't really know. Except for the fact that I really want to have something to do. Time after all is precious. So if I'm studying, why not just save lives on the sideline yea? That's the spirit. Plus they pay you to play hero. Really well. Wouldn't you do it if it was you? *gRiN* Its a good line to be in. Particularly with all the bad stuff going on around the world right now even as we speak. Bombings, kidnappings, killings, air pollution and every other type of pollution that's leading to global warming, which leads us to have air-conditioners which cause even more global warming etc etc etc, a tad bit out of line but well, you get the picture. So why not take the two years, study, and do a lil' bit of good at the same time that's gonna give you that lil' bit of extra karma and send you heaven-word some day? Does that answer everyone's lil bit of consonant yelling? (its actually the cash, i need it for my future. =D )

And before ya'll start a debate on some obscure website dicussing the possibility of whether or not there is heaven and using this website as an example, get a life. Do something that's really worth your time. Like pick up a can of cat food from the supermarket for the cat that lives under your block.

I miss my family. Thanks to the present circumstances, I don't even get to see them once a week even. At times. And well, family makes my world go round. Even after all those holiday family gatherings, it feels like i'm living a live of solitude over here. Not 'like' actually, I am. I hate it. I miss my family. =(

Been busy with school, even more busy with the Year End Function with Yishun Fire Station that thankfully ended with Friday. And WORK. WORK. WORK. Its been mad. After the next function I emcee at this Saturday, I'm gonna have myself a nice little break before I start hitting the books proper. Thankfully in all this mess and madness, there is always someone who suddenly comes along and sets things in perspective for you. And you gotta respect that power up there in the heavens somewhere for that person, because without them coming along at that right moment to do what they do to set what they've to set right, you might end up very confused.

In my case, the person is none other than lil' Ms Suharshini. Somehow, when i seclude myself from the world at large and am trying to sort things out in my mind, she seems to sense it and pop into the picture somehow and sets me straight. I guess a friend does that. And she does it well. My thanks and love to you lil' lady!

Alright, i'm done. For now, and i'll be back soon. That's a promise. Have several topics at hand that i might want to discuss this coming week. About the people of this world. RACISM. Something alot deny we have here in beautiful, impartial Sinagpore but yet sadly still have. Till the next time then everyone. Keep well.

Life At Large

2007-11-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

Well, people, I'M SORRY!!!

been getting shot down in MSN by most ppl about the lack of updates over here on my blog and that even when i do put up something its gotta do with everything but me. But yes, well, i've been busy alright?

And even that is something everybody in my little world seems to shoot me down for. DONN? He's always busy. He's never home on time. He's never at class on time if its his working day. He can't make it for group meetings cos he's gotta go back to JB on weekends. He doesn't meet his frens cos he's got to make time for other ppl who hasn't met and is REQUIRED to meet or else face the music. He doesn't have the time to talk on the phone cos he's gotta attend to other issues at hand. DINNER MEETING? Forget it dude, he ain't gonna make it. BOY'S NIGHT OUT? Oh trust me, something will come up particularly right on that day. And ppl, i'm way too busy for my own good at times and i'm really sick of it.

The idea of the lack of time never really struck me hard till i started cancelling meetings with frens, the lil' catch up's, the coffee's, the dinners... all cos of other commitments. and those commitments can most days ad most times be nerve wrecking cos its those things that require that extra time or things go awry. and gosh is it difficult to deal with those. i hope i ain't confusing ya'll by talking in riddles, but well, tts just the way things are in my life right now. Friends, romans and countrymen, they are all but a dream right now.

Focus, my focus right now is quite simple. Stay safe till ORD, which is coming around the bend. less than 4 months and it'll be over with. After which, full time studies hopefully? I don't know. Have financial commitments as well. At this tender age of 21. Bills to pay. Insurance to pay. family contributions. Self maintanence. Seems kinda like a dream. And when i watch stupid movies with teenage stars with millions in their pocket, it just makes me wonder, about the fairness and equality of the world. Just imagine a well fed, fashion blessed, gorgeously roofed kid and compare him\her with a kid out of a desert in Africa, malnutritioned, sleeping under trees, maybe a thatched hut if they're lucky, dry from the lack of water and eating roots and even grubs. All those millions. Think about what the RICH could do if they only THOUGHT about it. If only they could FEEL the pain of all those millions who suffer and have no voice. Really, just what is this world all about?

okayyyy.... Back to the topic, while i'm trying to stay safe and outt sight and lay low till ORD, i' trying very hard to focus on my studies. My books just arrived from LONDON!! *APPLAUSE* If not for Mr Frenky Tjioe, i wonder how our whole class would have just sat ard waiting for our books. He's a mover he is. Hats of to you Frenky!! And after that wondrous ORD date, i'm planning to sit my ass at home and study till my head hurts for those exams in MAY and ace them. I have promises to keep and this is certainly asblatant and rude and in the face as i can get to reminding myself what i owe myself. This after all is something only i can do aye? No one's going to write those papers for me and say, "hey, u made it, 2nd yr beckons!", are they? That's certainly not the way this world is. I have plans. And yes I have a dream. Like that song ya know? By the artiste Common. i have a dream. Yes, i still have one. I really feel that song. and dudes and dudettes out there, i'm gonna make those dreams come true.

And right now, with my 7 stitch toe which hurts like hell, i'm heading to bed. With the hope that tomorrow, will be a good day. with less rain, less pain and a whole lot more gain. Diwali has been alright. Nothing remarkable, but alright. you know ppl, in life, we gotta work hard to get what we want and where we want. I've realised that and it's time to work. Good nite everyone. Thank you for tuning in. =D

Adios.

Desiderata

2007-10-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --

he wanders

2007-08-22T12:26:00.001+08:00

He fits the key to the slot of his flat. Hoping, just hoping that someone would open it before he has to turn it. Hoping that the door would not be locked. He pauses for a second, two, and then he turns the key. The lock gives way. Locked, it most certainly was. As always.

The days he returned home to a family were long over. Open windows, doors, the scent of food cooking on the stove. Days gone by, years gone by. He wonders what took it all away. What changed things so fast, that it did not even inform him as it flew by. He wonders, whether he's been left behind. Wonders how he even came to be in the first place.

Family, the ever so important glass ball that people juggle along with the others. Many choose to drop it as life goes by and he wonders why. Are the other glass balls really as important as that? Does the fact that they are ALL 'glass balls' mean anything? Each is as fragile as the other he realises. Its just whether there are too many and which ones weigh heavier on your hands.

Sacrifices are hard choices to make. Its almost always between two or more things you want, but cannot have all of. He wanders over to the bathroom and turns on the shower. Cold, not hot, as per his norm. Just to feel the difference. Just to feel. Its been a long time since he has felt. A long time. The cold causes a chill to go through his spine. He smiles. Leans his head back into the shower, to let the cold water run over his face. And he begins to cry.

He reaches for the button. Turns off the shower. No tear stained face he thinks.

Expectations. To live up to. Failures, from the past. To forget. Obstacles. To overcome. Pressure, from everywhere. To ignore. Live it, he thinks. Life is, after all meant to be lived. The decisions made, solely yours and yours alone. Easier said than done isn't it? When even a minute, a second, can change a persons life entirely. Those same decisions. He stares into the mirror. Rubs his clean shaven chin and smirks. All the ironies of life.

Every single person is selfish in their own ways. Their own wants, needs and desires. The other person never matters. Family, he thinks again. Where are they? Why the ego, when this part of life required none? He dresses. A fresh shirt, cargo's and he was good to go. A fleeting look at the mirror as he passed assured him he looked fine. No one was around after all to tell him how he looked.

Putting on his sneakers, he started walking. The cold wind on his face. Yet, he seemed oddly distant and above such things as the wind at the moment. He smiled. And then he started running. He could feel. He was free. For how long he would run, he did not know. All he knew was that it kept him within himself.

he wanders.

Musings

2007-08-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

If you think you are in control of a situation in life, take a hard look around you. There likely are much larger forces at play. Every situation in life never lasts. Each goes on as per the days. The sun will still rise and set. And your body will still hunger for food. Days go by and times change. Situations change. You are never in control.

Ponder.

Optimists Creed

2007-08-15T17:59:00.000+08:00

I Promise Myself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness & prosperity to every person i meet.
To make all my friends feel there is something worthwhile in them.

To look on the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,and too happy to permit the precence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

Christian D. Larson

Religion

2007-08-14T21:02:00.000+08:00

Something on religion for people to meditate upon:

"As the different streams having their sources in different paths which men take through different tendencies, various though they appear, crooked or straight, all lead to Thee."

"That we turn always the few distant truths and the symbols or the particular discipline of a religion into a hard & fast dogmas, is a sign that as yet we are only infants in the spiritual knowledge and are yet far from the science of the Infinite."

"The mind is not the highest possible power of consciousness; for the mind is not in possession of Truth, but only its ignorant seeker."

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."

"All men are created by God & therefore must be free to worship in any manner they like. I neither convert others by force, nor submit to force, to change my faith."

"There is only one Truth, only men describe it in different ways."

~Broaden your minds. Widen your perspectives. Look beyond what is given.